Life on Life's Terms

Today we took a trip to Goodwill to give away Amelia's 0-3 month sized winter parkas. Not because they don't fit, but because it's May 26th. I mean, June is five days away, right? Who needs these heavy fuzzy parkas? Afterwards, we met a friend for a walk outside. We bundled up the kids and headed out.  The temperature? A balmy 54 degrees with 15-20 mile per hour winds. That equates to windchill somewhere in the low 40s. Twenty minutes into the walk, Carson was begging to go home, his little hands icy to the touch, and his lips somewhat blue. It took me a few blocks to get the message. I stubbornly pushed the stroller, charging on. It's May 26th, dammit. We are enjoying spring if it kills us.  

This expectation is exactly the type of thing that gets me into trouble. A friend of mine calls this a "premeditated resentment." And it's so true. I set myself up to be resentful about something I am absolutely powerless over. I do it in every aspect of my life-- as a customer, as a friend, as a sister, daughter, wife, mother and aunt.  I get an idea about what (insert anything) should look like, and then when it does not turn out that way, I get...well,  out of sorts. Still echoing in my head are the messages from all those damn business classes I took when part of big Corporate America, ideas lulling me into some whacked out sort of perception of reality. They hired fancy consultants to tell us we just need to communicate our expectations better.  So, if I just phrase it differently, they'll get it. And when whatever I'm focused on doesn't change, I communicate them again, and again, in a different way, or with a different tone, or with a different incentive for my subject.  Each time I'm taught the hard, hard lesson: I'm powerless. Powerless over the weather (of course, you say), over the way Lowe's Door Sales deals with me, over the way this person or that person wants to participate (or not participate) in their relationship with me.   All I get to do is my part, and that is, in it's essence, to be kind, and take right action.  I get to say what my needs are, once, and then I get to let it go. How do I do that with the Lowe's Installations department?  I cut them some slack when they screw up. I laugh it off. And when I can't laugh it off, I need a firm reminder that I have a choice to take my business somewhere else. 

Easy, you say, with the Lowe's guy.  But what about my family?  After all, it's much harder to choose your family.  Well, you can, but your new choice probably won't be a whole lot better than God's choice, and it will eventually catch up to you. After all, being human, we're all imperfect.  

Discontent 

Mommy, put the camera down and play with me. 

Living this way will not change the thing I'm upset about. It won't budge, I assure you.  But it will do two things.   First, it will make me feel happier while I'm living with Life on Life's Terms.  It will allow me to invest my time in relationships with people who love me and want to see me-- instead of chasing the one who doesn't.  Secondly, and not the least important-- it will teach my children how to choose happiness when life deals them lemons.   And from what I can tell, everyone's life deals them lemons sooner or later.   Or, at the very least, bad weather.   

Another Dental Disaster Looms

So our friends Steve and Heather got Carson a very cute little camping chair (for the deck, are you kidding me, we will NOT camp with this kid).  Pair this up with the most favorite recent toy-- the Little Tikes basketball hoop we put on the deck-- why, you ask?  Check it out.

I captured the wheels turning in his head as he put this one together.

Ok, I'm like, why is he moving the chair closer to the net?

oh, this is what I get for standing on chairs to get stuff from cupboards 

Cue the Sound Effects. 

Like SWOOSH- because this one went IN. 

Rinse and Repeat.  Again and Again.  

There is no chance we will be getting one of those little mini-trampolines any time soon.    I'm just glad he's stopped passing the ball to his 4 month old sister.  "Meena, dratch! (catch)"   

Oh, and here she is, his biggest fan: 

A Smile of His Own

About a year ago, my son Carson's smile was permanently altered at an elementary school playground near our house.   Yesterday we stopped there for the first time since the incident.  As he tromped across the sway bridge in his size 6 stride-rite sneakers, I still cringed.  I wondered if the other parents could see the PTSD on my face-- the pure parental guilt, and the hyper-vigilance with which I guard him while he plays.  The poor kid surely thinks his other name is Careful, since I say it so much.

Last year, when it happened, we'd stopped there on our way home from the gym.  He was goofy and tired, his tiny toddler legs surely rubbery from running about the Kids Club at my gym.   Barely walking a month, his run looked like someone constantly avoiding a fall-- his legs barely catching up with his torso in time to avoid catastrophe.  But it was one of those gloriously warm spring days-- too warm to just go home for lunch and nap.  I could not resist letting him try his new legs outside.  The bright red, blue and yellow colored play equipment beckoned.

May 2010, Before The Incident: his baby teeth, perfect.

We weren't there five minutes before he slipped on the sway bridge, his little Robeez leather bottomed shoe-clad feet sliding out from under him, and his two front teeth breaking the fall.  In full grin as he fell, he landed them squarely on two giant metal rivets which held the sway bridge to the platform it connected.  There was that moment of silence, and then the blood curdling wail.   Not knowing he actually hit his teeth, I picked him up and dusted him off, minimizing the incident.  Examined mouth. No blood.  "You're ok, you're ok.  Oh, you're so tired!"  But I did notice some strange white stuff on his lips. It looked like wax.  I brushed it off, hugged him, and suggested we go home for lunch.

He did the kind of sobbing he does when he's either terribly tired or (now we know) in a lot of pain.  Barely able to grab a breath.  Barely able to talk.   Not that he had that many words yet anyway, he was only 15 months.  I suspected he bumped his chin, so I finally succumbed and gave him ibuprofen. But later that night while we were giving him a bath and he smiled hugely at his daddy, I saw it.  Oh, God.   Two. Giant. Chips. Out of my darling boy's front teeth.  The natural tiny gap between his teeth had grown to a cavernous hole.  He'd lost the inside edge of the left one, and the bottom of the right one.  I was crushed.  I'd ruined his smile.  I'd only had this kid 15 months, and already had caused semi-permanent damage.  If I'd only put something other than slippery shoes on him.  If I'd not stood right behind him and bounced the bridge when he was running across it.  If I'd only caught him.   He wouldn't look like a redneck.    Matt and everyone else assured me it was cute.  He looked tough, they said.  I didn't want tough, I wanted my baby faced boy to hang onto his baby-ness as long as he could.  Now he was more little boy, less baby.

 There are not many photos of him in the weeks following the incident.   I mourned his teeth for nearly a month.  I took him to a dentist, an experience I would not recommend with a 15 month old.   After an exam that was similar to landing a 20 lb tuna on a rocking boat while deep sea fishing,  the doctor assured me the root was not damaged, and that it was purely cosmetic.  I should watch for discoloration in the tooth.  And pay attention if he says it hurts later, because it could develop an abscess.  But he didn't anticipate it would.  And no, they don't do cosmetic repair on 15 month old babies.  Damn.  There goes the modeling career.

After, Sept 2010 (It took me several months to get a good picture of them)

The offending Ottoman, and resulting teeth marks.

On Easter Sunday this year, Carson was chasing a balloon across his playroom.  He was laughing, as usual, and when he tripped and fell while looking up.   He again led with his teeth.  This time he smashed them squarely into one of our pleather ottomans.  He hit it so hard it left teeth marks on the pleather.  His mouth bled a little this time, and I'm pretty sure it was not only from the busted lip accompanying the fall, but also the gums.   The extreme pain sobbing ensued, followed by ibuprofen for a whole day.  The sobbing, of course, stopped within an hour.   And he was totally himself as long as he had ibuprofen.  On day 2, the gum surrounding his left front tooth was a bit blue and bruised.  I knew from the last visit to the pediatrician that they could not do anything but wait to see if the tooth turned any colors, or caused him lasting pain.   So far it's still white, but I examine it daily, ask him if his mouth hurts, and make him point to where.  He usually points to that tooth, but when I push on it or wiggle it, it he just laughs at the look on my face.

Today the gaped-tooth grin he wears while beaming up at me fits him perfectly. He's spunky and mischievous.  Square, straight, perfect teeth just would not have looked right on him.  I'm no longer concerned about his look, only whether the sharp edges are the constant source of injuries to his bottom lip, or worse, that he'll never get that adult tooth to come in quite right.  I am sure he will survive. No kid ever suffered lasting damage from a quirky smile.   

But I still can't help but cringe as I watch him fall, leading with those teeth.   And as he does, I call out his other name:  Careful!  And I feel like I finally totally understand what it's like to be a parent:    

To hope they have fun, but pray they don't get hurt.  To let them go and hope that your watchful eye and expertly muttered warnings will protect them.   And to know that sometimes, chipped teeth are just what they need to make their cute little outsides match their silly little insides. 

Today, my little snaggletooth.

Write about That Later. Wait, Now I Don't Remember!

I have this conversation with myself, no lie, every single time I go to write.  At random moments throughout the day I come up with these really great little comparisons.  These really great little ways of seeing some kind of special moment in my kids' lives.  And then, when the moon and the stars all align and I get five silly little minutes to write, I can barely write my name, let alone remember what it was that I had to say.

I am sure this is a common Mommy and Daddy writer thing.  Surely God's sense of humor is that He gives me all kinds of divinely inspired words, and no way to remember them when the time comes.  I have a sneaking suspicion that this is early Alzheimer's disease, and one day my family will look back and say, "remember when she was at home with the kids and they kept wetting through their diapers because she forgot to change them?" or something.  Oh, that doesn't happen.  Oh wait, yes it does, but only with Carson, and only because his damn diaper works so well he doesn't tell me it's wet until he's soaked through his pants and the couch cushion.  Oh and if you spend time on our couch, please forget that you read that here.

I am told the best way to combat the Mommy-Writer brain is to carry a--- oh, don't say it.  Not the old-school device-- yep-- a PEN and a note card or small pad.  I mean, it's not like I'm chiseling the damn words in stone, but there are all of those dreaded pen and ink excuses, like I hate my penmanship and it's not very cool, and can't I just type it instead?  A friend suggested leaving myself a voicemail or voice note on my phone.  I am sure my phone has some sort of memo function, but I've not figured it out yet, and since it is not a super fangled iPhone, I don't care to invest any time in figuring it out because some day I am going to get an iPhone and blah blah blah, really these are all just excuses to not write.  So, instead, you'll have to settle for my second rate ideas here on the blog, and I'll spend a little extra time complaining about it, because that is what I do best.

This week I'm working on getting my camera out when I see cute moments with the kids.  I don't know what I'll really do with all these pictures, but what is that rule about memory and the price of it (computer memory, not human), doubling and halving every 6 months?  Well, essentially, there is no limit to how many I can hold onto between now and the day they leave the nest, so I figure I will just keep snapping away so that someday, I can find those clever words I will one day have time to write down about each and every one of those moments.

Easter Morning- He's feeding me a Peep. 

Ok, I think this is the same Peep, but who's counting? 

For now-- here's a few pictures of the kiddos in their nearly current state-- a few weeks ago perhaps, but still.  Cue the "Awwww!"

Daddy's girl.  Such a sweet moment.

Amelia is sure to think we just left her on this mat for her entire first three months, with all the photos we have of her on it-- it's either this or her bouncy chair!! 

Two-Kids-Land

Yep, it's been FOUR MONTHS since I've written a blog. Though that should not be a surprise to anyone who knows me, I swear I can't believe sometimes how long I wait, how many great IDEAS for a blog I let go unwritten, and how many blogs I'll sit and READ before I actually sit down to do mine.  By the way-- all of your blogs I follow are so incredibly good!

So, the update: we had a little girl. Amelia Grace Pomeroy was born January 19th, 2011, at 3:14 PM, and was 8.0 lbs and 20 inches long.   She was born on the day of a full moon, and on the exact day I predicted, (once I knew the moon would be full that day, that is).   She was due on the 16th, so "fashionably late" she came, and we are so grateful for her timing-- any earlier would have meant she was smack in the middle of a huge snowstorm.  Later, the biggest one in the past 100 years.   We are so blessed-- she's a beautiful child with a sweet disposition.  I credit that entirely to my husband, and of course to God who knew I couldn't handle anything different.

We splurged a bit with Amelia and had a professional photographer come in and take some photos of her. We have about one hundred that we love, but here are the ones that are making it onto the blog.

 

Sweetness defined.  She is our little Angel. 

There have been too many wonderful moments already to recount, and every day I tell myself I need to be writing more down-- but the opportunities to do so are fleeting, and the fatigue often overwhelming.  Such is Two Kid Land.  It's rough, I'm told, rougher now than when they're 5 and 7, but still-- who cares about 4.8 years from now, right?  I am stuck in today, and most of the time, yesterday.  So true! 

Carson is amazing with Amelia. He surprises me every day.  For about the first month he wanted us to read him the Big Brother Book which, appropriately, talks about how great it is to be a big brother.  He still asks us to read it regularly.   He shows genuine concern for her, and lately, even when she is not around, he'll ask for her.  He has given her a nickname we all love as much as her real name, "Meena"-- so cute and absolutely perfect.  For the first week he kept calling her "Angel" as well.   That was kind of strange to me, because no one ever called her that-- and he came up with it all on his own.  Maybe he was commenting on the ones he saw hovering over her.  

I am working on figuring out how to add video here-- and will do so soon.  Right now my priorities have been really self-care, kid care, and home management, which leaves me little room for hobbies.  Then again, hobbies are part of self-care, right?  Ah, whatever.   

Till later- thanks for stopping in, I promise to find my creativity somewhere between here and never.  

Happy Spring! 

Last Days as Mommy of an Only Child

Dear Carson

Copyright Kelly Fisher Photography, 2011

This letter has been brewing for the past few days, as I watch you flourish into toddler-dom, nearly two and already fully acting the part.   I write it partly to capture the complete cuteness of your current age (almost 23 months), and partly to capture the bliss that I've found in being the person you spend the most time alone with on this little journey.  Soon we won't be alone anymore, I'll have to share my attention for you with someone else most days.  It's bittersweet now, but I know soon we will wonder what we'd do without #2.

We've been spending our days finding ways to tire you out, now that it's mostly too cold for outdoor activities.  In December we finished up your art and music classes, and weekday swim lessons (Daddy is starting swimming and tumbling with you this winter on the weekends instead).   I'm so pregnant with your little brother or sister that it's hard to load you in and out of the car to go places.  Still, we manage to waddle to several of your favorite indoor places; the Human Society, Kids in Motion, the gym, the public library, and shopping (which is your favorite as long as you get to eat a banana in the store).  When it's warm enough and not too windy we get to take a walk down to the park, and the construction site where they're rebuilding the bridge across Honey Creek.  You know the names of all of the construction vehicles and cranes, and constantly remind me that they move "big dirt!"  You've also become really interested in watching the kids skate on the skating pond in Jacobus Park.  I can't wait to get you your first skates and begin teaching you.  You also love to shovel the driveway, and we really really hope this holds up until you are at least 17.

Copyright Kelly Fisher Photography, 2011

When we're inside it's tougher to keep you occupied.  Santa brought you lots of blocks for Christmas, and your cousins gave you some Thomas the Train sets.   You love playing with both, but only if I'm down on the ground with you playing what you call "mommy train."   This gets tough being so pregnant, so I've caved in and allowed you ample amounts of PBS television.   Caillou, Elmo, and Bob the Builder are your favorites.  We hope the side effects of TV are your language skills which have exploded in the past 2 months-- you're doing three and four word sentences already.  You also love when we read to you-- we're constantly trying to find the book you're asking for, since you're so fond of so many that you've given them all nicknames.  

Copyright Kelly Fisher Photography, 2011

Your favorite word is "NoMommy," spoken just like that, all at once, and for no apparent reason or objective.  Perhaps you just want to remind me who is in charge.  You're growing more and more independent every day, and have plenty of opinions.  I worry all of these things we credit to the "terrible twos" are about to be complicated by the arrival of your younger sibling.  However,  I am sure you would tell us if you could, that you would be yourself regardless of your sister or brother's arrival.   I cling to the hope that you will weather this change just like you have all others, with your sweet little smile and your sense of humor intact.   You already show us daily that you love your sibling, giving spontaneous hugs and kisses to my belly, always accompanied by your own sound effects:  "Awwww!"

Copyright Kelly Fisher Photography, 2011

You continue to surprise us with your sense of humor-- inventing games like "Barn" where you close yourself between two laundry baskets and make animal sounds.  You will run circles around the downstairs for hours playing "I Got You" with anyone who will participate, and you LOVE it when we jump out and scare you.   You recently discovered Mommy's new Ipod, and are entertained for at least 20 minutes a day by the Talking Tomcat whom you call "Hello Kitty," though I am sure you will change that title as soon as you learn of the Asian phenom that shares the same name.

We've been playing music for you since you were a baby, and now finally some of those songs are sticking.  Your favorite is "Going to the Zoo" by Raffi, and you even sing it to me when it's not playing.  At least now you finally understand that it's not a promise that we'll actually go to the zoo-- in the past you'd run to the door and put on your shoes.  

We are so proud of your transition to your new room, along with a "big boy bed" single mattress we put on the floor.  You surprised us so much, only falling out of bed for a few nights before you were sleeping right through again.  You love to nap, and will give us the sleep sign when we're taking you up to your room.  At night you never complain about bedtime, and always go right to sleep.  We can't believe how lucky we are that you love to sleep as much as your daddy does.  We hope this continues even with the big changes you'll have in the house with your little brother or sister.

My sweet boy, I'm so thankful that we had 23 months to get to know each other before your sibling arrived.  I will always remember the precious year we had together after I stopped working to take care of you full time.  You make me laugh every single day, and I am so happy to be your Mommy.

Copyright Kelly Fisher Photography, 2011

Copyright Kelly Fisher Photography, 2011

Love, Mommy

2010 Recap

Allright everyone, I'm completely using this cheap-ass way to get a blog in for the week.  I have obviously already stooped to non-creative levels, but perhaps since it is my fourth post you can cut me a break.  I'm spending so much time these days just trying to figure out how to amble across the room without throwing my back out while I am 38 weeks pregnant that I should at least get a bit of a break in the creativity department.  I am, after all, using a lot of that creativity to CREATE LIFE and sustain it.  So here goes!! 

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?

• Became a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). 
• Became the daughter of a breast cancer survivor (go Mom!).  
• Injured my back so badly I had to be helped to the toilet by my loving husband.
• Watched my son learn to walk, turn 1, chip his teeth out at 15 months, speak hundreds of words outside of mommy and daddy, and master sleeping in a twin bed.  
• Pedaled my bike with my child in a bike trailer.  Huge victory.
• Walked everywhere with my child in a stroller.  
• Planted a garden.  Harvested my own tomatoes.  
• Got pregnant for a second time.  
• Learned to lift weights while pregnant (to avoid the back injury again). 
• Celebrated five consecutive years happily in the same enchanted and wonderful relationship.  Celebrated a third wedding anniversary.  
• Vacationed in Toronto Canada to see friends WITHOUT the kid. Vacationed in a Door County Cottage for an entire week without TV, phone, A/C or internet but WITH the kid. 
• Decorated my son's room with my sister Coleen. Hosted both my sisters in my home. 
• Learned how to slow down, and to live (mostly) happily without the stress/reward of a demanding job.  
• Took a photography class.  Sort of learned how to use my Digital SLR camera. 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?


Not sure I really had any formal, written down ones, but here is what I can recall thinking this time last year: 

Be Healthier: That darn back injury happened new years day last year, so I think one big resolution was to get stronger and rehab that back, and aside from the cocktail of Relaxin that is pulsing through my body right now causing a nagging pain in my SI joints, I think I've managed that one.  Pregnancy has pretty much forced me to take my vitamins and eat healthier (somewhat), but I still snack like a teenager when I'm stressed. 

Lose Weight: Nope. 

Work on my friendships:  Yes yes yes.  I can see a real difference in that area of my life.  I am so blessed to have so many good friends who gave me a second, third, fourth chance to be in their lives after I proved myself completely unreliable. 

Stop Compulsively Working:  God this was hard.  I allllmost started up a franchise, Stroller Strides in March of this year.  I am so so so SO glad I didn't do it now, since being pregnant while chasing a toddler is so much harder than I thought it would be. It would have been just something to do so that I didn't have to feel the transition from working a high-profile and high-travel job into motherhood.  

Learn how to enjoy being a SAHM:  Still working on this one.   It's like any other job I guess, some days I love it and other days I hate it.  I'd say that the balance has recently tipped to more days that I love it than hate it (not my son, just the HIM being the jailer and me being the jailed part), but this I know will be a new struggle with 2 kids, so stay tuned.   I take solace in knowing I have NEVER known any job to be perfect, and never been completely happy 100% of the days at that job, so this is just another example of that.  I do know I would rather be shaping my son's mind than any of the other jobs I've held. 

Eat organically:  No.  Well, sort of getting there with this, if you don't count the large amount of non-organic carbs I consume on a regular basis.  I am pledging to eat more whole foods and veggies this year.  I'm pretty good on the fruit front, since C eats so much fruit, but I really really need to learn to love a salad again. 

OK, the rest I might write from this point forward is just bullshit I'm making up, so let's quit with the eval already.

Here is what I would like to bring into 2011:

• A healthy baby!
• A healthy respect for my body's capabilities to rebound from pregnancy in a realistic amount of time.  
• Welcoming more help with my kids and household without feeling like a domestic failure for asking. 
• More thought-out meal planning and visits to the grocery store
• Fitness. Really.  Some miles on that treadmill in the basement would be a good start. 
• More time outdoors doing fun things with my kid(s). 
• Being less judgmental of myself (and in turn others)
• A new hairstyle
• More writing. 
• Less face-book viewing in which I compare my insides to everyone else's outsides.
• Less clutter in my house. 
• Donating more things I don't need anymore to friends, charity, or whomever needs them. 
• Caring less about what everyone else thinks of me. 

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?

I have 2 friends who recently gave birth...I don't know how "close" is defined, but I will say that I see them weekly and love them--God speaks to me through them regularly.  

4. Did anyone close to you die?

Not anyone close to me personally, but very close to my sister Leah.  She lost her baby's dad, Jack.  I had only met him once, but felt like I knew him through her.  I know he is in a better place, but it's still hard to watch my sister weather that storm.  

5. What countries did you visit?
Oh Canada!  And the US Virgin Islands. That's it. Unless you count Arizona as a different country, which I might. 

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?

• More friends who have kids the same age as mine.  Probably would come easier if I had a real willingness to JOIN mom groups.  Gotta say I relate 100% with the Pregnant Chicken blog here.  
• The motivation to train for something physical again.  The courage to leave my kid at the athletic club daycare more than 1 time per week on a regular basis. 

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

• Quitting my job- Jan 15th.  That was hard and exhilarating all at once.  
• The date we conceived, of course, since it was such a monumental victory for accupuncture, healthy living, and our fertility (otherwise completely unassisted).  
• April 10th, which was the day Carson took his first steps.  
• Election day, since I am sure it's the beginning of the end for our country  (and possibly our planet) once the re-zoning of voting districts happens.  
• Christmas eve and Christmas day, when we got to spend time with my brother and his family, and my sister and her son. 
• The day we learned the news that Jack passed away. 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Learning (ok I'm still learning...but much improving) how to be in the moment. It will not win me any trophies, but I am sure my husband would tell you I'm 110% less angry, worried, and stressed than last year this time. 

9. What was your biggest failure?
Limiting my pregnancy weight gain to 25 lbs.  Ha.  GUFFFAWWWWW !! 

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Yes, a back injury in January that really rocked me until about mid-Feb.  A bad cold in September/Oct ?, and a bout of the stomach flu in December. 

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A membership for my son at the athletic club so that he could be in childcare when I am working out.  My Nikon D5000 camera.  And technically I did not buy it, but my husband got me a new computer and new ipod for Christmas, which are both the BOMB.

12. Where did most of your money go?
To the athletic club, Best Buy, the accupuncturist, and chiropractor I am sure. 

13. What did you get really excited about?
I'm helping out with my city's pool that is opening this summer. I can't wait to be there with my kids, and to have them enjoy a pool like I did as a kid. 

14. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Tonight's gonna be a Good Night by blackeyed peas.  I don't know why, it might not even be from this year.  I just love it. 

15. Compared to this time last year, are you:

Happier or sadder?  Definitely happier.  
Thinner or Fatter?  Definitely fatter (with an asterisk, I am 38 weeks pregnant after all)
Richer or Poorer?  Poorer for certain. But I don't notice or care. 

16. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Wrote letters to friends.  Baked. 
 Travelled around WI to old places I love like Devil's Lake, Governor Dodge State Park. 

17. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Checking facebook. Or fake-book as my sister calls it.  Being sick with morning sickness.  

18. How did you spend Christmas?
At home with family...first visiting my brother and his family in Brookfield and then hosting my sister and her son here at our house.  

19. What was your favorite TV program?
I hate to admit it, but I loved me some American Idol this year. 30 Rock is my other favorite, and lately Ellen has been a regular on my DVR. 

20. What were your favorite books of the year?
Little Bee, The Forgotten Garden   I admit I haven't read much, but those 2 stand out. 

21. What was your favorite music from this year?

I feel like I've been under a rock lately because my old iPod was full, and it was such a pain to run my old computer when it was doing anything more than the application I was running, so I have been dry lately in this department.  But I just downloaded Regina Spektor and I totally love her.  Of course, I also over-listened to the new U2 album, No Line on the Horizon, but I think that is from 2009.  It rocked.  There is also a new Linkin Park album I am dying to hear but have not downloaded yet. 

22. What were your favorite films of the year?
127 Hours.  City Island (on video?).  I can't remember any others that stood out as "great" to me. 

23. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 40 this year-- and my sweet husband invited several of my friends to one of my favorite restaurant the day before my birthday, and TOTALLY surprised me.  I had no idea.  I had separately planned to meet about 6 of them for coffee the next night to celebrate, but he beat me to the punch.  It was precious and I will never forget it. 

24. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If we'd sold or rented out the other house we own.  Most of my struggle to stay in the moment lately are around financial insecurity, what with me not working and all.

25. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Survival. 'Nuff said.  

26. What kept you sane?
 My husband Matt gets the trophy on this one.  So many days his example of serenity keeps me from jumping on the dump truck of negative thinking and riding it all the way to the dump.  Then of course, the other essentials: My sponsor, and my buddies in a program of recovery I practice daily. 

27. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.


My employment position/lack thereof  does not define me.  I can be a SAHM-- and not be totally bored or bitchy because of it.

That's all... I'd love to hear about your year...come ON...post the answer to just ONE of these 27 questions!!