Repeated Refrains: January 2011

Dear Carson

This letter has been brewing for the past few days, as I watch you flourish into toddler-dom, nearly two and already fully acting the part. I write it partly to capture the complete cuteness of your current age (almost 23 months), and partly to capture the bliss that I've found in being the person you spend the most time alone with on this little journey. Soon we won't be alone anymore, I'll have to share my attention for you with someone else most days. It's bittersweet now, but I know soon we will wonder what we'd do without #2.

We've been spending our days finding ways to tire you out, now that it's mostly too cold for outdoor activities. In December we finished up your art and music classes, and weekday swim lessons (Daddy is starting swimming and tumbling with you this winter on the weekends instead). I'm so pregnant with your little brother or sister that it's hard to load you in and out of the car to go places. Still, we manage to waddle to several of your favorite indoor places; the Human Society, Kids in Motion, the gym, the public library, and shopping (which is your favorite as long as you get to eat a banana in the store). When it's warm enough and not too windy we get to take a walk down to the park, and the construction site where they're rebuilding the bridge across Honey Creek. You know the names of all of the construction vehicles and cranes, and constantly remind me that they move "big dirt!" You've also become really interested in watching the kids skate on the skating pond in Jacobus Park. I can't wait to get you your first skates and begin teaching you. You also love to shovel the driveway, and we really really hope this holds up until you are at least 17.

When we're inside it's tougher to keep you occupied. Santa brought you lots of blocks for Christmas, and your cousins gave you some Thomas the Train sets. You love playing with both, but only if I'm down on the ground with you playing what you call "mommy train." This gets tough being so pregnant, so I've caved in and allowed you ample amounts of PBS television. Caillou, Elmo, and Bob the Builder are your favorites. We hope the side effects of TV are your language skills which have exploded in the past 2 months-- you're doing three and four word sentences already. You also love when we read to you-- we're constantly trying to find the book you're asking for, since you're so fond of so many that you've given them all nicknames.

Your favorite word is "NoMommy," spoken just like that, all at once, and for no apparent reason or objective. Perhaps you just want to remind me who is in charge. You're growing more and more independent every day, and have plenty of opinions. I worry all of these things we credit to the "terrible twos" are about to be complicated by the arrival of your younger sibling. However, I am sure you would tell us if you could, that you would be yourself regardless of your sister or brother's arrival. I cling to the hope that you will weather this change just like you have all others, with your sweet little smile and your sense of humor intact. You already show us daily that you love your sibling, giving spontaneous hugs and kisses to my belly, always accompanied by your own sound effects: "Awwww!"

You continue to surprise us with your sense of humor-- inventing games like "Barn" where you close yourself between two laundry baskets and make animal sounds. You will run circles around the downstairs for hours playing "I Got You" with anyone who will participate, and you LOVE it when we jump out and scare you. You recently discovered Mommy's new Ipod, and are entertained for at least 20 minutes a day by the Talking Tomcat whom you call "Hello Kitty," though I am sure you will change that title as soon as you learn of the Asian phenom that shares the same name.

We've been playing music for you since you were a baby, and now finally some of those songs are sticking. Your favorite is "Going to the Zoo" by Raffi, and you even sing it to me when it's not playing. At least now you finally understand that it's not a promise that we'll actually go to the zoo-- in the past you'd run to the door and put on your shoes.

We are so proud of your transition to your new room, along with a "big boy bed" single mattress we put on the floor. You surprised us so much, only falling out of bed for a few nights before you were sleeping right through again. You love to nap, and will give us the sleep sign when we're taking you up to your room. At night you never complain about bedtime, and always go right to sleep. We can't believe how lucky we are that you love to sleep as much as your daddy does. We hope this continues even with the big changes you'll have in the house with your little brother or sister.

My sweet boy, I'm so thankful that we had 23 months to get to know each other before your sibling arrived. I will always remember the precious year we had together after I stopped working to take care of you full time. You make me laugh every single day, and I am so happy to be your Mommy.

Love, Mommy

Repeated Refrains

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Last Days as Mommy of an Only Child